Phil Cooke

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Posted On
12/10/2009

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20 Comments »

The "Divine Miracle Light" – You’re Going to Want This

Thanks to alert reader Fred Applegate, who discovered the “Divine Miracle Light“.  When you light this incredible product, the image of the Lord “magically” appears.  How can you not want that?  After all, Jesus is the light of the world, so let’s reduce that eternal concept to a cheap candle trinket.  Besides, if you order, one, you ALSO get a second one with Mother Mary, all with candle holder, snuffer, and candle, for just $19.95 plus S&H each. You save over 50 % and are covered by the Divine Money Back Guarantee (less shipping and handling of course).  A DIVINE MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!  At times like this, isn’t it worth the time you take to read my blog?

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 10th, 2009 at 7:16 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • Fred Applegate

    Anytime, Phil. I know you’re a connoisseur of these things. We poor lost Catholics have been working so hard since Vatican II to try to get any idea of “Magic” out of our church… apparently, we left that marketing strategy open for the clever entrepreneur. Jesus “Magically” appears? Really?

     

    How do people come up with such junk? Worse: why do we buy it? I had to physically restrain my wife at a Mission gift shop when she saw a children’s book called: “The Day Jesus Met Santa Claus”.

     

    And with that thought… Merry Christmas to all.

     

  • russ egbert

    That was awesome!  The funny thing is that it probably sells well.  Only a matter of time before certain ministries align themselves with it and offer it as a bonus.  Prayer shawl anyone…T_N night light?  Somebody please make a HSN spoof of this, a sure You Tube hit. 

  • telee

    I think I’ll wait until the come out with the full set of the 12 disciples.  I wonder if they would make Judas?  If they did, I wonder how they’d market it?  Hmmm….

  • Truett

    Phil, it worries me that you have time to search these things out. Wouldn’t your time be better spent writing copy about truly iconic and useful things like prayer cloths or miracle water from the Jordan river?

  • Brad Lennon

    Truett….I think “magic water from the Jordan” ect has been addressed. It amazes me how silly people can be to even order this type of trash. True, the Apostle Paul sent out prayer cloths to the sick in lieu of personally laying hands on them because of logistical constraints. But nowhere did he offer some kind of money back guarantee, nor did he use prayer cloths as a gimmick to fund his ministry and build his ministry “mailing list” of financial supporters. Im in no way against financially supporting ministries and believe that we should, but the phony fundrasing tactics are clearly wrong and prey on ignorant and vulnerable people desperate for help and will do anythng to get it. The church needs to get back to the purty of the Gospel and focus on Jesus Christ….no doubt about it.

  • http://www.jeremyscheller.com Jeremy Scheller

    I think it’s hilarious that the woman in the video appears to be “Scantly Clad.” 

    <img src=”http://jeremyscheller.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/scantillyclad.jpg” alt=”Scantly clad” />

    http://jeremyscheller.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/scantillyclad.jpg

  • jd nardone

    Phil, once again I can’t thank you enough! At first, I visited the link to have a laugh, BUT when I saw & heard that they are “Hand crafted” to create a “one of a kind experience”…I WAS SOLD!! I clicked on the ORDER NOW! Just as I was about to enter my cc# I realized that the S&H fee was not noted, it was ‘hidden’…that tipped me off that it must be one of those real scams…so I changed my mind, again. Thanks for keeping us informed! I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO GO WITH THE –CHIA OBAMA– FOR MY GIFT LIST, INSTEAD…It is ‘Handmade’, too!!

    Merry CHRISTmas to you and yours, Phil!

  • http://www.chrisbusch.com Chris Busch

    The real miracle of Christmas is this – Jesus knew that some day someone would be marketing the Divine Miracle Light with His name and image on it… and He came anyway.

  • http://www.micahmcdowell.com Micah

    Wow, I was sure that site was a practical joke until I went to “Order Now” and lo and behold, you can actually buy one! This is so ridiculous that a parody couldn’t be funnier.

  • Renie

    For a millisecond I though you were going off your rocker!

  • Will

    Distracted again by meaningless drivel….sigh, when will I learn.

  • Jeff Atlas

    I already have one in every room.

  • Andy

    I ordered it a week ago.Called the place today they said that my order is not going to be send before the Christmas so I canceled it 

  • Rachelle

    That’s awesome, Phil. Thank God you pointed this out for me. It was like a divine email.

  • David Holoboff

    Definitely a devine distraction…

     

    “…and to all a good night…”

     

  • http://blogs.oddsocks.net Amanda

    Wow, that’s amazing. Junk I agree.

  • Raven

    and to think i was gonna settle for a Clapper and one of those cross necklaces where you can read the entire lords prayer in the tiny center crystal.

  • Simon Dillon

    Sounds like something from Prayer Hour with Pastor Shepherd – though not quite as funny as the “Jesus Plane”. “Wow!”

  • Jay

    Too bad I can’t have a lit candle in my office… Good thing I have my statuette of St. Ciare of Assisi, Patron Saint of Television under glass!

  • ThatGuy

    “…every time you light a candle, your family will gaze in amazement at the wonder of the Divine Miracle Light!”

    Really? Amazement? EVERY TIME? Apparently, my family has a far shorter memory than I realized. I am grateful to whomever wrote the copy for this commercial for revealing (*snicker*) that to me.


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